When exactly is started I do not know, but I also (like many / and, I suppose) are subject to a syndrome that lovely night in English call day-dreaming in Italian and I do not know how to say, but if I were to invent a name, call that -idiot-who-are-when-I-cute-by-night-and-start-a- think.
In short, because the syndrome occurs, it takes:
-
a night - waking up in a house very quiet
- a husband by your side that not even an elbow in the sternum would move an inch
In this fertile ground, the syndrome refractory creeps into your mind and your body in fetal and t'attacca from within, that if a film would un'azzurrino that expands until all the capillaries in his eyes. I like .... sbam!, Opened and then you know that is the end (of your sleep that night).
Here are some examples of how it manifests, to me personally:
"Imagine if one of them (the twins, ed) was sleepwalking, get up, open the window and jumped off"
And from there I see everything, the smallest details ... we wake up in the morning that we, the open window with the curtain flapping, the astonished gaze, the funeral with the Baretta white anxiety.
"Imagine if the outbreak of the house and children were trapped in their rooms." And from there I see all the escape routes that I would use is like trying to save them. I see that I can not, I hear their cries and other nice things like this. The anguish.
"Imagine if we lost the job, in questo tempo di crisi". E da lì mi vedo strisciare all'oratorio per un pacco di pasta, vendere i pochi gioielli al "Compro oro, vendo oro" del quartiere, raccattare qualsiasi lavoro, mandare Marta a servizio in qualche casa di ricchi.... Angoscia.
L'altra notte, sarà stato per l'imminente, dolorosa, ricorrenza della morte della mia adorata amica Angela, sarà stato per il viaggio aereo che mi aspettava (io odio l'aereo e ogni volta penso che cadrà), la sindrome si è manifestata con il pensiero:
"Immaginati se stessi per morire, se ti dicessero che hai davvero poco tempo. Sei già morta, praticamente. Hai pochi attimi, cosa fai? Anzi, cosa lasci ai tuoi figli che gli possa servire forever, what do you say to them? ".
type, the plane crashes and you have a few seconds / minutes to a text message, you type?
Now I know it seems I should be hospitalized immediately or schedule a year or close analyst, but I guarantee that the syndrome is experience divorced from any context logic / science and from any psychological condition. It loitering around at night and hits random human beings, especially women, even those whose stability psycho-behavioral is unexceptionable.
And so, with eyes wide open, I started making a list of important things that I should tell my children, died in two seconds.
"synthetic, you have to be synthetic. More succinct, "I hounded. He must be one, useful for life and applicable to many different contexts, which summed up the essence of what I have learned thus far.
a kind of panacea for any doubt to any age. An amulet to carry around forever.
Whatever happens, always follow your instincts.
Here, very simple.
Then, if I would remain two seconds before expiring, I decided that whispers also:
Stay away from things that make you happy, stay away from people who do not love you.
Because in the end, let's face it, happiness has more to do with removing the trouble with fairy dust falling from the sky and caresses.
The other day I attended a conference on publishing digital (e-book, for instance) with a panel of speakers all foreigners (Americans and Europeans) took turns on stage with ideas and events that have shaken the belief deep listeners, mostly Italian publishers traditional and dusty.
In particular, there were some really young, even in their thirties, that the stage if they are eaten in stride and the audience sound subject to Company's willingness to share their experiments editorial.
Look at those in their twenties and I smiled a lot. It 's amazing what similarities, in the texture of the skin, and my children, who have years of 11 and 13.
skin, even in twenty years, exudes a compact round of children.
And their PCs were covered in stickers as they are to that of Martha.
Yet, his mouth still dirty milk, walking up and down the stage like lions, explaining a lot of people, even important, their experience with an enthusiasm that took my breath away. Young people who do, we feel that we tweaked and try again. Young people already experienced so as to be invited to speak next to the guru guru most of America. Young and driven by an overwhelming passion, which made me feel an imbecile because I did not have their age thoughts, neither ideal nor desire to do anything. While their lives instead
the bite and what's left if you put in your pocket, which will be useful soon.
So I decided then and there that I still have two more seconds, I would say to my children as well:
alertness and passionately, passionately always .
There, now I can die.
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